Preamble: as work piles up and I gain direction and momentum in my life, I observe my attention slip away from meditation and into action. As you can see from my notes of the past 2 weeks I am still attempting to carve out time for the all-important mind-clearing… I’m successful at times, not so much in others. Truth be told, I’m sleepier than before, as if my mind is tired of slowing down only at the sleep level and wishes it to happen at the conscious level too.
An experiment indeed!
Meditation week 12 & 13
Monday: a blank
Wednesday: yay – a whole 5 minutes. Watched my mood go from confused and muddled to settled and optimistic.. all I did was send out a little prayer to the universe and let her know that my trust is in her, always in her 🙂
Friday: 10 minutes were dedicated, and happily so, to prayer and conscious relaxation. It feels so good to relax but the moment my energy meter reads just 1% stronger I begin getting impatient and excited to work on all of my awesome projects. There is so much I want to DO!! I am a bubble of happy energy 🙂
Saturday: again, didn’t meditate so much as let my thought catch up with me. Simply sitting, and being and not doing was the most healing thing I could have done for myself.
Monday: Nearly overwhelmed by wave of sadness that came over. Many factors contributing to it, but you might say today’s meditation was time needed and spent on a good cry! Very healing crying is, it always is.
Friday: the time that I set aside was filled with thoughts… I went instead to visual meditation and to my “peaceful place”. On another note I’ve been witness to amazing examples of direct manifestation – I have been consciously asking and receiving exactly what I need and desired at the perfect time. I feel in line and one with my intentions, the universe is openly supporting me, my biggest cheerleader unleashed 🙂
Saturday: once again I found some seemingly plausible excuses not to meditate. Argh.
Am missing fasting – perhaps I’ll give it another go?
Day 1: Sunday – no fasting, not much mindfulness either
Day 2: Monday – nope
Day 3: Tuesday – tried, only lasted about 8 min. and there was a lot of squirming at that.
Thursday : beautiful, sunny and energy filled day. I indulged in one of my favourite childhood addictions: the swing set. Taking the time to enjoy my surrounding and maybe even a quick nap on the sunny bench… 🙂
Day 2: Monday
Set aside 10 minutes today and watched feelings of tension and anxiety come up in response to all of the changes and decisions taking place in my life right now. It was difficult to keep the thought stream from slowing or dissipating… but I practiced it all the same. Have been reading about the Dalai Lama and buddhism and his words of inner peace ring loudly in my ears right now.
Day 7: saturday
Gave self 10 minutes to simpy catch up with self. Very helpful – I wish I had time for more! Correction: I wish I would make time for more.
As you can see the meditation is sporadic, at best, right now. The fasting has been replaced with mindful eating – these days I’m getting so much exercise (fitness classes, skiing, biking etc) that it’s increasingly difficult to fast. Combine this with a woman’s cycles and there are days when not eating is not an option. That being said, I can feel that my body misses it and I’m planning for a half-day fast later this week. A fresh vege juice can replace a meal and I can indulge in that delicious, empty feeling once again.
Rest assured, I am continuing to make a significant effort in incorporating both meditation and fasting in my whirlwind adventure of a life 🙂
Here comes week 12!!
Day 12 – I forgot. Really. By the time I was heading to bed and nodding off I remembered… and well, I decided doubling the next day’s dose as compared to fighting imminent sleep was the better bet.
Day 13 – aahhh, I breathe a sigh of relief as I reach for my anchor of peace, centerdness and all that is good and coherent in this world. Missing out on conscious mindfulness yesterday feels like missing the best concert in town, my favourite artist come from afar to perform just the once. The reality of it sinks in…I missed that opportunity to familiarize myself with the present moment, then. But, hold on. The moment is here, it always will be here waiting for me to join it.
“Dear Universe”, so the thought begins, “Thank you for your understanding and patience”… as I dabble in playing the ironic game of catch up with the Now.